February 2011
107 posts
Jimmy inspired to do confessions haha. Some stuff is already known, I just went more in depth. — Both of my grandma’s and my grandpa on my dad’s side have all had a form of cancer. A large portion of my dad’s side of the family has, plus almost everyone has developed alzheimer’s and parkinson’s disease at some point. I’ve seen all of them suffer and it...
January 2011
110 posts
The fact that someone said that they hated me, I was a stupid fucking bitch, fat and half as pretty as she was (if that) and I wish I was her, is hilarious to me when the person saying it looks like Drew Carey.
Girl shut up.
Such a sleepy little thing tonight, and my back hurts a ridiculous amount, but, it’s okay. Today was a good day, thankfully. Granted I think there’s already something being said about who I was accompanying for part of it, but whatever. I had a good time, and that’s what matters most right now.
Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who didn’t rememeber their dreams, at least right now. Everything I dream about upsets me, either because it’s something absolutely amazing and I wake up and know I don’t really have that with that person, or because something terrible has happened and I worry that it’s really going to come true. Hate this so much. I hope you...
Just remembered the disgustingly sexual dream I had during my nap this afternoon. Ugh. Goddamnit. keljfghfbdksnjamlxjdmuhriweoxnj.
As angry as I got last night, I woke up kind of angry, but once I talked about it with my mom, I wasn’t mad anymore. She does at least relate to a few things and has dealt with people doing this kind of shit for quite a while. Oh well. Some people just suck. I might be going through some rough, stressful times lately, but at least I’m not that kind of person, and that makes me feel...
I guess it’s free game once your good friends start hitting on me.
I really don’t understand some peoples intentions. You can have the last word, still talk about shit, try to make me feel bad, and everything else. It’s fine. I’ve never had a taste of that much desperation, so you can have my portion too.
So angry right now. I am going to beat the living shit out of you.
I think tonight will be a big part in determining my decison on all this. I don’t want to, but, I might have to.
Thankful for the backbone I have and the friends that stick around. I’ve had to fight and defend myself on who and what I want/believe in a ridiculous amount lately. I may be really weak at heart and in mind with all the crying and such, but I’m not taking extra shit during any of this.
I sit at work all day, for nine hours. I only did about 50 transactions today. I’m sitting there basically all alone, with nothing to do. It gives me way too much time to have my mind wonder onto things that I don’t need to be thinking about so hard. I’m like I’m in another world coming home. Hell, half the time, I don’t even remember driving home. I just get in my...
Must read this.
Boy: I broke up with her.
His Best Friend: What happened?
Boy: She’s just too much for me.
His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?
Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..
Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..
Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..
Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..
Boy: Well, she..
His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?
Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?
His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.
Ya know, sometimes even the lamest shit is true.
When you try to laugh and still look good...
rubyredglitterpumps:
mousy:
Expectation:
Reality:
oh my god hahahahahhah
Fucking sick again :( This is getting so damn old, just go away. You would think with all this I would have lost some weight. Nope. So I just look ill all the time now, and the bags under my eyes from restlessness/no sleep are a beautiful add on. Throw in being irritable most of the time from being so worn out & feeling bad, I’m just wonderful. It would be really great to have someone...
Just watched The Hurt Lockers, which was so damn good. But scary at the same time and probably not the most appropriate thing for me to watch right now. Increased my worry amount by a lot. Ahhh.
Man. I just took the time to type out the text “Hey, good luck tonight, I hope the show and everything goes well :) and text me when you get home so I know you’re there okay.” Then I realized right before I hit send that I don’t get to do stuff like that anymore. Fuck. This is harder than I thought.
“You could be a little more damn supportive you know and encourage me.” ((and the crying begins)) “I didn’t realize I had to encourage and support my mom to go exercise twice a week for 40 minutes again.” “Yeah well you do and you should instead of saying you’ll make plans the nights I won’t be home and acting shitty.” “…going out...
Everytime I dreamt last night, I was sitting on a river dock, reading letters from someone & writing back, everywhere I went I ended up right back at the dock, and Stand By Me was constantly playing. Weird.
Curled up on the couch, in a big fuzzy blanket, watching family guy. Doesn’t feel right. :(
It’s like someone who’s bad for you knows when you’re down, and they come in for the attack. I doubt you mean what you say, and even if you do, our cycle is always the same. We could be good for each other, but it just doesn’t work. And why do exboyfriends always come to me when they’re having relationship issues or as soon as they’ve been broken up with. Why...
Aaaaaand back to being sick. Awesome. I’ve really had enough of camping out in the bathroom floor.
Slept horribly last night with dreams I could have done without. I feel like I’m back in July. I think I might go to Taco Bell and go sit in the park for the afternoon.
Sat in the car/3rd street diner for 2 hours talking things out. It went better than I thought it would, but none the less, still got my heart busted up pretty badly after completely spilling it out. Being back on just friends status really hurts, but I understand it to an extent. I still plan on waiting it out…as stupid as that may be. But I’m a silly, overly romantic girl with high...
I had planned on taking the time to curl my hair, make it look really good, had a really cute things picked out to wear, etc. All my plans to look super hot went out the window. Not feeling it anymore. It’s too cold, plus who do I have to impress? Jeans, plain ass sweater, old flats and a pony tail, here I come.
I see nothing but a terrible outcome for tonight, but, I’m going anyways. Yay for being fucking stupid.
I’ve got some of the worst fucking cramps of my goddamned life today. I’m going to end up killing someone. Shit on everyone today.
….And here I am again. I’ll never really understand. I guess she’s been right all along.
I feel way better, so I started trying on clothes I already have, just to go through them again, got bored with it, and left a random outfit on. Almost booty cheek showing jean cut offs, off the shoulder oversized sweater and 5in heels. Meh. Looks cute, I’ll keep it on for good measure.